So, I met someone…
When I started this blog, I didn’t expect this post anytime soon, or at all actually. I wanted to write about being a single Dad, and everything that comes with it. So, that includes a new relationship. It is absolutely amazing how you look at meeting someone new who could be a big part of your life when you have kids.
A Child’s Perspective
Having four kids, the thought of starting a relationship with someone else was almost overwhelming. How would the kids react? How would I answer their questions? Would my words and actions represent God in this new aspect of life? My kids are used to how life is post-divorce, so someone new was interesting to them. From the questions and conversations I have had, it was important that honesty was a staple in my relationship with my kids. Since the divorce, I have promised to my kids that I would be honest and answer their questions. Of course, I always was honest, but when a divorce happens, I wanted to be sure it was highlighted, not just known. Being able to be open and honest, left little room for the kids to wonder or come to their own conclusions.
Praying for Wisdom
Since my divorce, I don’t think I have prayed for anything more than wisdom. Life changed a year ago; I was single, had kids and everything I thought I knew was upside down. It would have been easy to just give in and be angry, make drastic choices, and get off course, but God’s wisdom kept me on the right path. Now, I’m not saying that I always had wisdom, but I can’t imagine what horrible choices I would have made for the kids and myself if I wasn’t praying for God’s wisdom, among other things.
I made the mistake once of asking God for patience. That was a fun week (NOT). Many years ago, patience was something that defined me. I didn’t get shaken, I didn’t get upset. I was calm. It’s been quite a path back to being that person, and when a new relationship is involved, patience is key. Having patience will offer multiple benefits:
- It will allow God to work within in the relationship if that’s His will for you.
- It will allow God to reveal reasons to not move forward with the relationship
- It will show your children you aren’t quick to just jump into something
The Right Person
There is a lot of talk about “finding the right person”. I have heard people say “If I could only find the right person”. This is backwards. My focus was completely on me, and being the right person; the right person for God. God has expectations and he wants the best for us, but we need to focus on Him and what we are doing for Him, not for what we are doing for ourselves. It wasn’t until I realized this, that I started getting my act together. Through pursuing God and aiming to be the right person for Him, I found the right person for me.
Continuing to Teach My Kids
As we continue this relationship, I continue to pray not only about the relationship, but the kids. There is nothing more important on this Earth than my kids, and their comfort and happiness is my first priority. I aim to show them the things I failed to show them when I was married to their Mother, such as how to properly treat a woman in a way that is pleasing to God.
Of course, I could go on and on about how amazing she is, and how much we click, and all of the ways I am in love with her (so many I have lost count), but that’s not the intent of this post. I’ll show all those things in how I treat her, and my actions.