Last spring, I decided that the kids and I were going to explore other options for our church home. It was a big decision, but something at the time I felt was where God was kinda pushing me to. I learned a lot in my time away from our church home, and we’re now working to return and get involved.
If there is something I’ve always struggled with, it’s been my faith. Well, not my faith, but my follow through. I’ve been one of those ‘hype guys’. You know the type – moments of excitement for the church, for God, then by Monday evening the fire is gone. That’s been me. Instead of being the man of God I needed to be in my marriage, my family, I was inconsistent and unreliable.
Yet, people do say that when certain things happen, it opens your eyes, right? There’s always that one person “Well, once you have a heart attack, you’ll start eating better”. That happened to me. Divorce happened. My family broke. I went through praying that God would fix this, to cussing at God, to find him in a way I never thought I would.
During this time, the kids and I left our home church, New Faith Chapel, and tried plugging in elsewhere. A much bigger church. While a great kids program was there, it didn’t work out for me. It was too big and I felt like a stranger. So, we checked out another church around the same size. I knew someone there, so it made sense to check it out. The kids and I spent the last 7 months at that church and they loved it. I loved it too, in the beginning. Then, the size got to be too much for me. It wasn’t the environment I wanted to get involved in. Hundreds in attendance, big video cameras and talking about opening another location. It was great, but it wasn’t what I felt God was calling me to.
What was missing for me? Relationships. The feel of family. I didn’t have any of that despite my effort to get plugged in. It wasn’t the people at these churches, they were great. It was me. My heart wasn’t completely in my efforts because I wanted to be elsewhere.
This past Sunday, the kids and I returned to New Faith Chapel. A lot has changed, but so much more hasn’t. The kids aren’t as excited about it. The other churches had these elaborate kids programs and New Faith Chapel isn’t there yet. It was great hearing an engaging sermon and a mix of current worship with a choir. The feeling of family when I saw many I haven’t seen in a while was overwhelming.
I missed this place.