With divorce comes many changes, but what doesn’t change is the love you should give your Children. Co-Parenting and Parallel Parenting can help.
What is Co-Parenting?
Co-Parenting is basically when two parents who have no romantic relationship with each other, work together to take care of a child or children by sharing responsibilities. When it comes to post-divorce, co-parenting can be described as a situation when parents both seek to maintain equal responsibilities for the child(ren)’s upbringing.
What is Parallel Parenting?
When two parents cannot get along enough to work together, they co-parent by disengaging with each other. This is parallel parenting. Most interactions between the parents are business-like and not personal, and most things are handled via a written agreement; such as schedules. Parents in a parallel parenting situation, work together on things like education and medical decisions, but when it comes to day-to-day parenting, they handle it separately.
You and Your Ex Are Not That Important
If you are co-parenting or parallel parenting, your child’s perception of home is broken. They no longer have a home, they have two. The family has become a growing statistic which works against you and more importantly, your child(ren). For whatever reason, things did not work out between you and their other parent. This is not a reason for things to not work out between you and your child(ren). No matter what happens moving forward, your child(ren) comes first. You and your ex are not that important. Being selfish likely lead to a separated parenting environment, you simply can’t continue to distance yourself with your own agenda.
Choosing What is Best for You
Every situation is going to be different. You have to find what works for you and run with it. More importantly, every child and parent is going to be different. What is important is that the child(ren) comes first, and that you bend to make things work. For them.
What Works for Me
For me and my situation, there’s a little bit of co-parenting and parallel parenting involved. It took time to get something that flowed in a way that allowed each of us to best provide for our kids, but we’re there. While things could be better, there will always be something that could be better when you’re coming from a divorce. You take what you have, see what is working, and you focus on that.